It’s hard for grownups to make sense of a tragedy like the attacks in Boston this week, so consider how difficult it must be for children.
Depending on their age and media exposure, children may know more than grownups think about this week’s events. And even if unaware, children still might sense tension and anxiety from adults around them.
Mental Health America has offered these ways that parents can help their children cope with tragedy-related anxiety:
Quick tips for parents
- Children need comforting and frequent reassurance of their safety.
- Be honest and open about the tragedy or disaster.
- Encourage children to express their feelings through talking, drawing or playing.
- Try to maintain your daily routines as much as possible.
- Reassure young children that they’re safe. Provide extra comfort and contact by discussing the child’s fears at night, telephoning during the day, and providing extra physical comfort.
- Get a better understanding of a child’s feelings about the tragedy. Discuss the events with them and find out their fears and concerns. Answer all questions they may ask and provide them loving comfort and care.
- Structure children’s play so that it remains constructive, serving as an outlet for them to express fear or anger.
Grade school-aged children
- Answer questions in clear and simple language.
- False reassurance does not help this age group. Don’t say that tragedies will never happen again; children know this isn’t true. Instead, remind children that tragedies are rare, and say “You’re safe now, and I’ll always try to protect you,” or “Adults are working very hard to make things safe.”
- Children’s fears often worsen around bedtime, so stay until the child falls asleep so he or she feels protected.
- Monitor children’s media viewing. Images of the tragedy are extremely frightening to children, so consider limiting the amount of media coverage they see.
- Allow children to express themselves through play or drawing, and then talk to them about it. This gives you the chance to “retell” the ending of the game or the story they have expressed in pictures with an emphasis on personal safety.
- Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.” Part of keeping discussion of the tragedy open and honest is not being afraid to say you don’t know how to answer a child’s question. When such an occasion arises, explain to your child that tragedies cause feelings that even adults have trouble dealing with. Temper this by explaining that adults will still always work hard to keep children safe and secure.
- Adolescents may try to downplay their worries, so encourage them to work out their concerns about the tragedy.
- Children with existing emotional problems such as depression may require careful supervision and additional support.
- Monitor their media exposure to the event and information they receive on the Internet.
- Adolescents may turn to their friends for support. Encourage friends and families to get together and discuss the event to allay fears.