Dealing with Bullies

Hopefully your child’s back-to-school routine doesn’t include a bully! Occasionally, friends and classmates may tease each other in a fun, friendly and mutual manner.  But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind and constant, it crosses the line into bullying. And that needs to stop.

If you suspect your child is being bullied, or she approaches you about the subject, here’s some simple advice you can offer her for improving the situation:

• Tell an adult.  Teachers, school staff, parents, and volunteers at school can all help stop bullying.

• Use the buddy system and avoid the bully.  Stick to your friends to ensure you’re never alone with the bully.

• Hold the anger.  It’s natural to get upset, but getting a reaction out of you will only encourage the bully to continue the behavior.  Practice “cool down” strategies, such as counting to 10, taking deep breaths or walking away.

• Act brave, walk away and ignore the bully.  Firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, and then walk away.  Ignore hurtful remarks.  By ignoring the bully, you’re showing you don’t care, and hopefully the bully will get bored with bothering you.

Make sure your child continues to talk to you about the situation.  Help her understand that she is not to blame.  The bully is the one behaving badly, not her. Try to lessen the impact of bullying at home, by encouraging her to get together with friends, join clubs, or participate in sports.  Find activities that can help your child feel confident and strong.

And, lastly, let her know that together you’ll find a solution.

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