20+ tips for maintaining and strengthening a family bond during a hospitalization

We understand how important it is to visit loved ones during a hospitalization, especially a child’s. However, for the safety of our patients, families, physicians and staff, CHOC Children’s strictly enforces limited visitation on our campus during times such as flu season and the COVID-19 pandemic.

Our pediatric psychologists and child life specialists have teamed up to offer families the following creative ways to stay connected throughout a hospitalization:

  1. Phone calls and video chats are often the easiest ways to stay in touch with a hospitalized loved one. If a patient does not have access to a smart device, the Cherese Mari Laulhere Child Life Department can make special arrangements.
  2. Explore new apps to stay in touch – does the child or teen in your life love using WhatsApp, Messenger, Google Hangouts, Snapchat or other apps? Download their favorite app as an easy way to stay in touch their preferred way.
  3. Send an e-card to a patient at CHOC Children’s Hospital.
  4. Use the voice recorder on your smartphone to sing your child’s favorite song, read them a short story, or tell them goodnight or good morning. The parent or guardian who is at the child’s bedside can play the messages on your behalf.
  5. Write to each other in a journal. The child can write a note or draw a picture, and then send the notebook home with the visiting caregiver. Any family members who are at home and unable to visit the hospital can write messages or draw photos in the notebook, and the visiting caregiver can bring it back to the hospital for the child to read.
  6. Assign clinical family liaisons to update non-visiting caregivers or other family members on the patient’s status or call them during rounding.
  7. Family members who cannot be at a patient’s bedside may be comforted by visualizing the space their loved one is in. CHOC has a library of experience videos that can help family members – whether preparing for a visit themselves or not – learn more about CHOC.
  8. Setting up a CaringBridge page can help families share updates and photos with loved ones near and far.
  9. Use Zoom’s whiteboard feature to draw pictures together, write a story or play Pictionary.
  10. Use an online game sharing app to play your favorite board game together online. If a child doesn’t have a laptop available during their hospital stay, their child life specialist can help secure one to borrow.
  11. Pick a craft – anything from painting to decorating a coaster – that all family members can do together via Zoom or video call.
  12. Create a family gratitude journal, where each family member picks three things that they are grateful for every day. Share them with each other via a notebook that is carried from home to the hospital by the visiting caregiver, or with a free journaling app.
  13. Do a scavenger hunt via video chat with different family members. You can each try to find certain items in your spaces that start with a specific letter.
  14. Create coping boxes that kids can use when they feel sad or worried. Some items to consider adding are bubbles, coloring pages, Play-Doh and fidget spinners.
  15. Play a virtual game of Simon Says.
  16. Have family story time through video chat. You can do this at bedtime so family members not at the child’s bedside can participate in their bedtime routine.
  17. Have a virtual, interactive watch party for your favorite TV show or movie using Netflix Party or Disney+’s GroupWatch. These services allow you to synchronize your show or movie with friends and family, and chat while you’re watching.
  18. Create and send a personalized Build-A-Bear with a special “get well soon” message.
  19. Create virtual rooms together using Google Slides. Add furniture, people and links to different activities or games. There are many helpful and free tutorials online for creating these rooms.
  20. Create video diaries to keep each other updated on what you’re doing throughout the day – it could be something exciting or mundane. Share with each other via social media or use a free app to string together your video snippets throughout the day. There are also free apps that will allow you to create a calendar showing a photo of something fun or unique you did each day.
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The benefits of music therapy: Antonio’s story

A typically happy and energetic Antonio began to feel isolated during an extended hospitalization. His music therapist Rebekah helped him feel more social, while providing “normalized” experiences for Antonio and his family.

At CHOC, music therapy is just one of the specialized therapeutic programs offered through the Cherese Mari Laulhere Child Life Department.

When Antonio was a baby, he was diagnosed with an immune system disorder called chronic granulomatous disease (CGD), which meant his white blood cells couldn’t properly fight bacteria and infections. He got sick more than other kids and took twice-daily medications, plus injections three times per week. Antonio was 9 years old when doctors determined he was a good candidate for a bone marrow transplant, so that his body could learn to make infection-fighting blood cells. His infant brother was a perfect match and served as his donor.

After a bone marrow transplant, the immune system is very weak, and patients are typically kept in isolation with limited visitors and other precautions in place in order to protect their fragile health. Antonio spent about six weeks in isolation.

At first, he was skeptical of music therapy, but he came around quickly.

“When I first went to Antonio’s room, he was playing video games in bed. He didn’t look at me or respond to me, so I told him I would simply tell his mom who I was and what music therapy was about, and he could listen if he wanted to,” Rebekah said. “By the time I sang the second line of his favorite song, he transitioned from lying in bed to sitting up, smiling and singing along with me. His mom played along with an avocado shaker, his infant siblings were both shaking maracas. The feel of the room had been transformed”

Since hospitalizations also impact siblings and parents deeply, Rebekah strives to include families in music therapy sessions whenever she can. After their initial session, Antonio was eager to engage in any musical experience that Rebekah suggested.

“In the middle of a long hospitalizations, there would be days Antonio was in a funk and the only thing he wanted to do was play video games,” his mom Maria said. “But when Rebekah came to his room, he would immediately turn off his video games, smile, happily get out of bed, and interact with her.”

At first glance, music therapy might look like simply singing or playing instruments, but the evidence-based work of a board-certified music therapist supports a patient’s clinical goals. In the medical setting these goals may range from promoting symptom management, like pain or nausea; increasing emotional expression related to diagnosis and hospitalization; or normalizing the hospital environment and promoting typical developmental milestones.

Antonio and Rebekah have a jam session in Seacrest Studios.

Some of Antonio’s goals for music therapy included decreasing isolation, increasing engagement in preferred activities, and managing stress and anxiety. Children who remain engaged with their environment typically respond to stress in a more positive way. By creating songs about Antonio’s favorite foods and hobbies, he can focus on the healthy aspects of himself—a reminder that he is more than his diagnosis, treatment or hospitalization. These goals were established to counteract the potential negative impacts that a prolonged isolation and hospitalization can bring.

Sessions were filled with creativity, laughter and smiles – from Antonio, his siblings and his mom. Some days, he and Rebekah wrote songs about Antonio’s favorite things.  Other days they wrote about his mom or favorite nurses. During music therapy, Antonio also frequently created original music through playing ukulele, drums and guitar. Since young patients often don’t get to make many decisions, they worked in opportunities for Antonio to feel autonomous and “direct” the other band members (his siblings and mom).

“Music therapy cheered up my son while he was in isolation,” Maria said. “It makes me happy that CHOC has things like this for kids when they can’t leave their rooms.”

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Music therapy in a mental health setting

Music therapy has been part of CHOC Children’s specialized therapeutic programming for more than 10 years. The program has grown recently, due to increased awareness of its effectiveness and a growing need among CHOC patients. We sat down with Kevin Budd, a board-certified music therapist in CHOC’s Mental Health Inpatient Center, to discuss the benefits of music therapy in an inpatient psychiatric setting.

Q: Music therapy is more than just listening to music. What encompasses this practice?

A: Music therapy is the clinical and evidence-based use of musical interventions to accomplish individualized goals. This occurs within a therapeutic relationship between a credentialed professional who has completed an approved music therapy program, and a patient. During music therapy, we address physical, psychological, cognitive and/or social functioning challenges for patients of all ages. Essentially, we utilize evidence-based, musical interventions for non-musical outcomes; meaning music is the tool which helps support a patient’s non-musical need or goal.

Q: How does music therapy support clinical goals?

A: A patient’s clinical goal is the starting point for determining which musical intervention will be most effective. In the Center, these goals could include: mood regulation, self-expression, self-esteem, anxiety, interpersonal effectiveness, treatment motivation, positive coping skills, and more. There’s no one-size-fits-all treatment when it comes to music therapy within mental health. We might work towards their goals several different ways, including: focused music listening, songwriting, song discussion, group instrument playing, music and relaxation, singing, and many others.

For example, if a patient’s clinical goal is to increase identification of positive coping skills, we might work on lyric analysis within the patient’s preferred style of song. We could discuss triggers, resilience, and negative life situations in the song. During this lyric analysis, I can help navigate the discussion to include the patient’s interpretation of the musician’s experience and how it might relate back to their own life. After this discussion, we could rewrite the chorus of the song including identification of a negative situation and a positive coping skill to help address it. The patients can then be encouraged to share what they created— by singing, spoken word, or other creative means.

Within this exercise, not only has the patient identified a negative situation and how to better cope with it within a creative medium, they have experienced the active utilization of a positive coping skill, built up confidence after completing and sharing their creation, felt more connected with others in the group due to being vulnerable and feeling validated, improved their mood from the positive experience, and formed a sense of increased treatment motivation.

Music therapists utilize assessment, treatment planning, and evaluation to determine whether a patient’s current methods of music therapy are meeting their needs. Without treatment goals, there could be no effective music therapy.

Q: What kind of impact have you seen in mental health patients who have participated in music therapy?

A: In any setting, music has an instantaneous effect on our bodies — mentally, physically and behaviorally.

Patients have shared several stories about how music therapy has helped them with their clinical goals. It’s amazing how one musical intervention can address multiple goals.

Sometimes it’s hard for patients to verbalize past trauma or express their current struggles. But with music therapy, they can discuss a song that may relate to their current life situation— whether that be bullying, family problems, feeling hopeless, having anxious thoughts, or another stressor. During this process, patients may be able to process and verbalize more, since the lyrics are an easier gateway for expression.

During group instrument playing, patients who might have difficulty with interpersonal relationships are able to cohesively and successfully play music together in a positive and supportive space without the need to talk.

During group ukulele playing, patients can work on distress tolerance and problem-solving skills while persevering through a challenging task — and by the end, they have improved self-esteem.

Q: What is unique about music therapy in an inpatient psychiatric facility?

A: Music therapy can look different in the inpatient psychiatric setting than in other areas of the hospital.

Within the Center, goals for music therapy are focused on combatting the reasons why a patient is admitted— these could include suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety or other factors that keep these youth from participating in a healthy way in daily life. The goal of the MHIC is to stabilize these patients and provide them with as many resources as possible to cope with their mental health challenges.

Music therapy does just that and provides opportunities for patients to learn, process, practice and discover new skills through tailored music interventions such as group instrument playing, songwriting, music listening, song discussion, beat-making, singing, rapping, and many other techniques. The MHIC offers opportunities for group work, that allows for a diverse group of kids and teens to come together and express themselves in a supportive, safe and validating environment. Individual music therapy sessions are available to patients in the Center who need additional one-on-one support to complement their other treatment.

Q: Why did you want to become a music therapist? Why a mental health setting specifically?

A: I’ve gone through my own mental health challenges throughout my life, and I always found that music validated my journey. Music helped me distract myself and process my feelings. Music met me where I was in the moment and gave me hope. It also gave me a platform to express myself in ways I didn’t know how to otherwise.

When considering career paths, I wanted to find a way to harness the role music had played in my life in a therapeutic way. After receiving my undergraduate degree in music, I developed a special interest where psychology and music intersect—the space where music therapy truly breathes. I pursued my graduate degree in music therapy, and then became a board-certified music therapist.

I feel humbled and fulfilled to be able to support kids and teens at CHOC with the tool of music. By creating an authentic therapeutic alliance, I can support them through a harsh and challenging time in their lives. I am thrilled to be on the front lines of the music therapy program at CHOC Children’s and I look forward to supporting its growth and success in treating pediatric patients.

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Beating brain cancer and giving back: Brodie’s story

Brodie’s cancer survivor party was a chance to celebrate the completion of his cancer treatment by gathering his family and friends for an epic Nerf battle. Wanting to give back to other CHOC Children’s patients, the twelve-year-old boy turned his celebration into a fundraiser. Brodie used the proceeds to buy Legos, journals, games—all his favorite things while in treatment—to brighten the days of other children battling cancer.

brodie-shopping-for-donations
Brodie and his brother shopping for gifts to donate to CHOC patients.

“He wanted to buy more of the things that helped break up his time while he was at CHOC,” says mom Megan. “If you ask Brodie what he wants to be when he grows up, he says ‘I just want to make people happy.’”

Brodie’s journey to a diagnosis

Brodie’s path from initial symptoms to a diagnosis was long. While practicing karate at home, his dad Marcus noticed that his left side didn’t have any “oomph.” Over the next few days, he and Megan realized Brodie was losing coordination in his left hand and left foot.

The first few doctors who saw Brodie ruled out a tumor but couldn’t identify what was causing his loss of coordination. An MRI revealed something on Brodie’s basal ganglia—a collection of nerve cells deep within the brain that help control movement. They were eventually told that Brodie had likely suffered a stroke. Later, another specialist thought it might be iron accumulation on the brain.

“Something looked wrong, but nobody could tell us exactly what it was,” said Marcus.

The family spent 18 months crisscrossing the country, seeking out various pediatric specialists on their quest for answers.

During this time, Brodie had another issue—every five months or so, he would go blind in his left eye for a few days. There was no discernible reason for this loss of vision.

Their quest eventually led them to Dr. Raymond Wang, a pediatric metabolic disorder specialist at CHOC Children’s. He was able to rule out a genetic reason for Brodie’s symptoms, and encouraged the family to seek out the care of the CHOC neurology team. The next time Brodie lost vision in his eye, the family headed for the Julia and George Argyros Emergency Department at CHOC Children’s Hospital. Brodie underwent another MRI, but this time from a different angle due to his eye condition.

They found a tumor.

Another starting line

“The news that Brodie had a brain tumor was not the finish line of the 18-month journey we had been on,” Marcus says. “That was actually the beginning of yet another journey, this one at CHOC.”  

The family was introduced to Dr. Ashley Plant, a pediatric oncologist at CHOC Children’s.

dr-ashley-plant-choc-childrens-oncologist
Dr. Ashley Plant, a pediatric oncologist at CHOC Children’s

“Not only was she professional and a top-quality doctor, but she was also very warm and empathetic in that first meeting,” Marcus says. “She even gave my wife a hug, which made a lasting positive impression.”

Dr. Plant explained that Brodie needed to undergo a biopsy to determine whether the tumor was cancerous or not. Dr. Joffrey Olaya, a pediatric neurosurgeon at CHOC, performed the biopsy.

joffre-olaya-md
Dr. Joffre Olaya, pediatric neurosurgeon at CHOC Children’s

“I was scared to death when he went in for the biopsy. But I knew we were in very good hands with Dr. Plant and Dr. Olaya,” Marcus says.

The biopsy confirmed the mass in Brodie’s brain was a cancerous tumor known as a germinoma. Germ cells are the reproductive cells in an unborn baby. Germ cells that grow in an unusual way can become a tumor. Often, those tumors form in the ovaries or testes. Sometimes during an embryo’s development, these cells can migrate to the brain and result in intracranial (within the skull) germ cell tumors.

A doctor unlike the rest

Throughout their lengthy journey to find a diagnosis, Megan and Marcus had met many different specialists. They consider Dr. Plant a guide on their son’s treatment journey.

“We were, and continue to be, super impressed with Dr. Plant because not all doctors are like her, and we’ve seen a lot of doctors,” Marcus says. “That doesn’t mean they’re not good, but they don’t all have the same bedside manner as she does.”

Throughout the course of Brodie’s treatment, Megan and Marcus had a lot of decisions to make. In those difficult moments, Dr. Plant was right beside them.

“She provided us with all the information we needed to make responsible decisions, but didn’t make decisions for us,” Marcus recalls. “She helped us make the ultimate decisions as his parents.”

Brodie’s treatment plan included six months of chemotherapy at CHOC, followed by seven weeks of proton radiation in San Diego.

Post-treatment, Brodie has returned to CHOC every few months for an MRI of his brain and a check-up with Dr. Olaya.

“We were so grateful to have Dr. Olaya in our corner because he’s always on the ball. He’s very sharp and conscientious, but also very caring,” Megan says. “It might tell you something that when Dr. Olaya comes in the room, Brodie jumps up and gives him a bear hug.”

Finding a familiar face at CHOC

While Brodie was admitted to CHOC Children’s Hospital for chemotherapy, he was visited by a child life specialist from The Cherese Mari Laulhere Child Life Department, a group who strives to normalize the hospital environment for children and their families.

Child life specialists can engage patients in medical play to help them understand procedures and make tests less scary, bring their favorite toys and movies to their rooms, and show them amenities around the hospital like Turtle Talk and Seacrest Studios.

Shayli, the first child life specialist to visit Brodie’s room, turned out to be an old family friend.

“She looked familiar, but as soon as she said her name, a lightbulb went off—we knew her!” Marcus said. “Megan and I have been friends with Shayli’s parents for years, and they’re great people. But we hadn’t seen Shayli since she was a baby—and now here she is, taking care of our son.”

Shayli knew that Brodie loved Star Wars, so whenever characters would make special visits to the hospital, she made sure they didn’t leave before making a special stop in Brodie’s room.

Although Brodie spent a lot of time in his room resting during chemotherapy treatments, he made many visits to the child life playroom as well.

“For a while, it felt like we lived at CHOC, and it was great to have the ability to take Brodie to the play room for air hockey, or watch a movie or play a video game,” Marcus recalls. “There’s nothing you wouldn’t do to take your child’s mind off chemotherapy treatment.”

Brodie today

Despite countless doctor’s appointments and treatments over the last few years, Brodie has no fear of hospitals.

“He’s never met a stranger. Everyone he meets becomes an instant friend,” Megan says. “Brodie gets so excited to see Dr. Plant and the rest of his team. If I tell him that he has an MRI coming up, he’ll say, ‘Sweet!’”

With cancer behind him, Brodie is feeling more like himself. He loves Lego sets, playing X-box with his younger brother Finn, and swimming.

Learn more about the Hyundai Cancer Institute at CHOC Children's

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A day in the life of a child life specialist

The Cherese Mari Laulhere Child Life Department at CHOC Children’s strives to normalize the hospital environment for patients and families. “Normalizing” the hospital experience means making things like medical equipment and procedures feel less strange or foreign. By doing this, patients and families can feel more at ease while at the hospital and will be able to focus on what is most important: feeling better.

But just because we’re a children’s hospital, doesn’t mean we only treat little kids. CHOC child life specialists work with teen and young adult patients, too. Follow along for a day in the life of Karlie, an oncology child life specialist.

6:00 a.m. – My alarm goes off and I quickly push snooze. I lay in bed for a bit longer as I am still trying to master the art of getting out of bed as soon as the alarm tells me to. After a few more moments of relaxing I get up, ready to take on the day. I get ready, make some breakfast, pack my lunch and my workout clothes, and head out the door by 7 a.m. to get to work on time.

8:00 a.m. – After making it through infamous Southern California traffic, I arrive at work. During my drive, I usually listen to some sort of motivational worship talk or devotional and once I park, I say a quick prayer to help me be ready for the day. I walk into my office and greet my fellow child life specialists. The office is full of smiling faces, and despite the early hour, it’s already bustling with colleagues talking about various patients and their needs. I work on the hematology/oncology unit, but we have child life specialists embedded in practically every unit and area of the hospital. Our team is filled with energetic, gracious and positive people trying to provide the best support possible to the patients and families that we serve. I feel so grateful and able to take on the day with them by my side.

8:15 a.m. – To start the day, I get a copy of the patient census—an overview of the current patients admitted to the hem/onc unit. I also check the surgery schedule to know what surgeries or procedures my patients have that day.

8:30 a.m. – I head to a meeting with the oncology multidisciplinary team which consists of the medical and psychosocial team. We discuss various patients and their plans of care. We also discuss what psychosocial needs have already been met and what support they still need. We make sure to communicate with each other so that as a team we can ensure we’re meeting our patient’s physical, emotional, spiritual and mental health needs.

10:00 am – I head up to the hem/onc unit and check in with the bedside nurses, so I know what the plan for the day is for each of the patients that are on the unit. We discuss how we can work together to best help each patient. I talk to one nurse about a 17-year-old patient that was just admitted last night with a new diagnosis of leukemia. She tells me that he is feeling nervous about a procedure he’s scheduled for later that day. We go over my plan to support him and I tell her I will keep checking in and keep her updated with how the patient is feeling. I then go into his room and introduce myself and tell his family more about what child life has to offer in terms of “normalizing” the hospital environment. We also talk about what he likes to do, his favorite sports teams and who makes up his family. After we have built some rapport and trust, we talk about his upcoming procedure and I explain it in a way he’ll understand, and it helps ease his anxieties. We talk about why the doctors want him to get some tests done and what these tests will tell the doctors. We talk about the roles of each staff member he will meet, and how they will help him. We set up a hospital tour for later that day. In the meantime, I call my volunteers to drop off a soccer Xbox video game for him to play in his room while he waits.

10:30 a.m. – I get a call to come and help one of my long-time patients with her port access. A port is a medical device surgically placed under the skin in the chest that can be accessed with a needle for infusions and lab draws. When she was first admitted, we worked on coping techniques including medical play, and now she doesn’t get as anxious for procedures. She’s been in treatment for six months, but she still prefers me to be there, and I enjoy seeing her and being there for her. We play her favorite iPad game together while the nurse does the procedure. During the procedure I remind her of each step of the process as it comes, to help her feel empowered and ready. During the needle poke, we do deep breathing exercises together to breathe away any pain or discomfort, and she squeezes my hand. As soon as the poke is done we go back to playing on the iPad and laughing at inside jokes we’ve developed over the last few months. I applaud her for how well she has been doing with her port needle accesses and tell her how proud I am of her.

11:00 a.m. – I take the time to check in on some more patients that I know, and make sure they have everything they need for the day, including some fun activities to look forward to. A few of my longtime patients are in the middle of long hospital stays, so I come up with a plan for something fun and different for them to do that day to help make the most of every day they are there.

11:30 a.m. – I check in on my new 17-year-old patient and find that he is ready for his tour. We start by walking around the hem/onc unit and I show him the gym and the teen room. He loves air hockey, so I show him the air hockey table in the playroom as well.  On our tour, we cross paths with a pet therapy dog, so we stop to spend some time with him, and we all laugh as the dog does one of his famous tricks that he has practiced for a doggy treat. We then head down to the second-floor lobby to check out the amenities it has to offer. We check out Seacrest Studios (our in-house radio station), the movie theater, another teen room, Turtle Talk, and two outdoor patios. Child life organizes a lot of special events for patients, and today we are hosting several baseball players from the Angels. We stop by that event while we’re on the second floor and check out the games going on, crafts, giveaways and my patient snags a few photos with his favorite players before I escort him and his family back up to their room.

12:00 p.m. – I take time for a quick lunch break with my fellow child life specialists. I work with some of the kindest, strongest, most giving and selfless people that I know. We enjoy some great conversation about work and about our lives outside of work. My coworkers are my greatest support on the job and I feel grateful to be able to work alongside them and the other wonderful staff at CHOC. I am thankful every day for the wonderful coworkers I have that are also some of my closest friends!

1:00 p.m. – I head back up to the 5th floor to take part in one of the best parts of my job. Today we’re celebrating the final chemotherapy treatment of a 22-year-old patient. I have a trophy and a sign that reads “Happy Last Chemo!” I gather the nurses, clinical assistants, nurse practitioners, and any other available staff to join in. We parade into the patient’s room cheering, and sing the “Happy Last Chemo” song to the tune of “Happy Birthday.” As I look around the room, I see that the patient, her family, and all the staff have tears of joy in their eyes. We are so happy for this patient reaching the end of her treatment. This is definitely something worth celebrating.

2:00 p.m. – I get a call from the front desk that some special visitors are waiting for me. I know it is the surprise we have in place for another patient. This patient, a 13-year-old girl, has been in the hospital for a while and I know she could definitely use an emotional boost. Today is her golden birthday, which is the perfect time for a big surprise.  I reached out to a local jewelry store and asked for their help. They agreed to bring some cute gold jewelry items for this patient to help celebrate her golden birthday. I feel so grateful for our community partners that are so generous and willing to help our patients. Seeing my patient’s face light up warms my heart. She knows that she was thought of individually and that people wanted to make her day brighter.  I am so grateful to be able to help provide these special and meaningful experiences to a patient like her that is so kind, strong, and such an example of perseverance.

2:30 p.m. – I return to the room of my 17-year-old patient and take him down to the pre-operative unit for his scheduled procedure. We talk about new questions and concerns that he has thought of since this morning, but we also talk about the things in his life that are important to him; his friends, family, sports, school, and fast food. When it’s go-time, I stay with him as his parents go wait in the lobby. Before he receives anesthesia, I stay with him as we listen to his favorite artist and talk about what songs he likes. I’m a terrible singer, but we sing together to take his mind off the procedure. We continue doing this while the wonderful team of nurses, technicians, physicians and anesthesiologists get everything ready. The patient and I continue to talk, and I interject every once in a while, to let him know what the procedure staff is doing as we go along. It is time for him to receive his anesthesia and I talk with him until he falls asleep. Afterwards I thank the procedure room staff and doctors for all that they do and I exit the room for the procedure to begin.

3:00 p.m. – Afterwards I head back up to the hem/onc unit for a planning meeting for our biggest event of the year. Each year, the CHOC Children’s Oncology Ball presented by The J. Willard and Alice S. Marriott Foundation is a chance for oncology patients and their friends to celebrate their life and all they’ve been through. This event is part of the Adolescent and Young Adult (AYA) treatment program. Our team spends months planning this event so that every patient, no matter their age, can feel like Prom King or Queen for the day.

4:00 p.m. – After that brainstorm meeting, I check in on the family of a newly diagnosed 2-year-old boy. As I enter the room I see that the patient is napping but that his big sisters have come to visit. I talk with the siblings and educate them about what they see in the room and help them understand their younger brother’s diagnosis through a medical play activity. I help them understanding what the nurses and doctors are doing to help him get better. We talk about how they are feeling and concerns and fears that they have. One sister thinks this diagnosis happened because she once got really mad at her brother for taking her toy. I assure her that her brother’s cancer is nobody’s fault, and that there is nothing anyone did wrong that made this happen. We talk about how they can help their brother while he is in the hospital. They can play with him, draw him pictures, give him hugs, wash their hands so he doesn’t get germs, and help mom and dad around the house. I want them to know that as siblings they are important too, and I am here to provide support to them as well. I remind them that every fun thing in the hospital is for them too! With their parents’ permission, I take them down to Seacrest Studios to hang out with the staff there. Seacrest Studios music and programming is broadcast to every patient’s room, and the girls get to help host the daily game of Bingo. To see them feel special and get the attention they need warms my heart. Illness really does affect the whole family and taking the time to acknowledge and be there for each family member is so important.

5:00 p.m. – After leaving the siblings in the excellent care of the staff in the Seacrest Studios I head back to my office to gather my things and head home for the day. On my drive, I call my mom who lives in Utah. I talk to my mom about my day as much as I can without breaking patient confidentiality. I enjoy talking to my parents and know they will always give me sound advice. My mom hands the phone over to my youngest brother, who is a senior in high school and we catch up on his day. I love hearing about my siblings’ lives. I am one of ten children!

5:30 p.m. – I arrive at the gym for my workout. Exercise is a great time to decompress from the day and relieve any stress I may be feeling from whatever sad or difficult situation that may have happened that day. I absolutely love my job, but it can be hard to watch these patients and families go through such difficult things― patients feeling sick, losing their hair, hearing that their cancer came back, having to get a poke for blood, and the reality of sometimes losing a patient to cancer, all takes a big toll on our staff. In addition to support from my colleagues, I also try to find things outside of work that help me cope, and working out is one of those things. Today was not one of those really difficult days, but running on the treadmill and doing some weight training definitely helps me decompress and transition out of work.

6:30 p.m. – I head home and make dinner while I talk to my roommates. We talk about our days and then we have friends come over for a fun game night.  It is a great night spent relaxing and connecting with friends.

10:00 p.m. – Time for bed so I can give tomorrow all the energy it needs! I count my blessings, especially being able to spend every workday with the most amazing kids, teens and young adults who are fighting their illnesses with grace, positivity, joy, strength, wisdom and the desire to make the most of every day. I look forward to tomorrow, and the opportunity to offer each patient and family member I come across my best care and support to make their day even a little bit brighter.

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